


Say

by teddysheeranfics



Category: Ed Sheeran (Musician), Harry Styles - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 18:52:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddysheeranfics/pseuds/teddysheeranfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed has a crush on you, but he sees the way you are with Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request I received over on Tumblr - I hope you guys enjoy it :)

Sweat beaded along the nape of Ed’s neck while he sang, his eyebrows knitted together as he belted out the notes. Four hours had ticked by but nevertheless he was still encased by tight walls that never failed to leave him claustrophobic and with a craving to bust through the glass window in front of him. Clamping his eyes shut while he sings helps him lose track of how long he’s been in the booth, but the rasp in his throat from pushing himself too hard doesn’t disappear with his sense of time. With every intake and exhale the sandpaper at the back of his throat overpowers him and his lungs strain with each sharp breath.

The headphones he wore rested uneven on his ears while his fingers tangled in the thick black chord. He’d done it for no reason other than to distract himself from you sitting next to Harry, the two of you behind Jake Gosling at the soundboard. Ed twirled the chord once over his palm and then over his wrist, until the veins tightened under his skin and the tips of his fingers buzzed from lack of circulation.

With the crack of his dry lips he sucked in a gulp of air, exhaling the notes into the space between him and the microphone, hopeful it would be the last time. He refused to open his eyes and witness a smile on your face because of Harry’s witty jokes or playful teasing, forcing his voice through the sting in his throat.

“I could use a snack right now,” Harry trailed with a sigh, his green eyes throwing you a hint through an upward glare.

You stole a glance to Ed, studying him twirling and unwinding the black chord around his hand while he sang.

“For the third time, I’m not getting you a snack,” you sighed. “What are you? Two?”

Harry pulled a pout, inching his chair closer to yours while you brought your eyes back to your phone. 

“Oh come on, what kind of assistant are you?” he teased. 

You peeled your eyes away from the screen enough to roll them at Harry, just before you jabbed his side with your fist, his right arm folding in to fend you off. 

“You seem to forget I’m not your assistant, we’ve been over this before, Styles.”

Ed caught glimpse of your hand on Harry’s side and he fumbled with his own lyrics, perplexed by the scene behind the glass. He cleared his throat in an attempt to rid the scratch laced in his vocal chords, standing silent after letting out a whine to where it was more or less a hum. 

“You two need to settle down,” Jake spoke up, having noticed Ed’s apparent distraction, you and Harry behaving as if you were anywhere other than a recording studio.

Harry leaned back in his chair with a squint, thrusting a finger to his lips to seal them, “sorry,” he whispered before he gestured to you in silence as if you were to blame for the commotion.

“Ed,” Jake called, catching Ed’s attention with the press of a button, his voice echoing throughout the booth, “I know you’re tired, but we have to do it again, buddy.”

A week prior when it had been just the two of them, he witnessed Ed exceed his own expectations, even when his voice strained and his eyes clouded red from lack of sleep, he finished the record with little complaint. 

Ed’s eyes fell closed at Jake’s request, fighting every urge to throw himself on the floor and vent through pounding fists and feet as if he were three and his mother refused him a toy or a piece of chocolate. He breathed through the frustration, the chord falling from his hands with the twitch of his fists opening and closing, his knuckles burning with the temptation to crack them against the glass keeping him contained in his own hell. He rolled his head back to loosen the stiff muscles in his neck, cursing himself for penning a song too damn hard to sing. 

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and brought his eyes back to you before kicking off the floor with his right foot and spinning in his chair. With every pass by you he gave your arm a nudge to pick up speed and Ed sighed again, running his hand over the back of his neck while his blue eyes flicked from you and Harry and back to Jake. 

“I need to take a break, man,” he said in complete defeat, his voice sounding as if he’d either just woken up, or hadn’t slept in weeks.

He’d gone through two water bottles in the past two hours alone, leaving them crinkled and crushed on the floor while his socked feet dragged him out of the small booth.

The space behind the door was smoother, lighter as if he’d walked from a sauna and he inhaled the stale yet fresh air, relieved to be free from the confines of the booth.

You rose from your chair and grabbed Ed a cold bottle of water from the small fridge nestled in a far corner, Harry still pestering you for a snack the second he noticed you stand.

“I could’ve gotten it myself,” Ed told you when you held it out for him to take with a smile.

“I’m your assistant, Ed, that’s what I’m here for.”

With a shrug and the twitch of his lips, a smile crept over his mouth for the first time since he’d been in that booth, “thanks,” he said, cracking open the bottle and guzzling close to half the water in one go.

“You sounded great,” Harry spoke up, hiking up his black skinny jeans when he sprung from his chair.

Ed recapped the bottle, wiping the beaded sweat from his forehead on the back of his free hand, “No, I really didn’t,” he shook his head, a hint of a laugh seeping out of his chest, “I sound like shit. I think I just need to get the fuck out of here.”

Jake checked his watch, “We can call it for the day as long as we’re back at it first thing tomorrow morning,” he said.

“Let’s go eat something,” Harry whined while you grabbed Ed’s shoes from the corner where he’d kicked them off.

He’d grown to enjoy your company more than your help and found it ridiculous that you were waiting on him without question, even if it was your job title.

“Seriously, you need to stop spoiling me,” he laughed when you handed him his black Chuck’s.

You crossed your arms with a shrug, “What do you think an assistant does, Ed?” you asked him, watching him lean his butt against the nearest wall while he pulled the tongue from under the shoestrings.

“I don’t know,” he trailed, wiggling his right foot inside, “schedule things, setup interviews, that sort of thing.”

Harry fiddled with the soundboard until Jake told him to stop messing with the buttons, the two of them gathering up their things once Ed got his shoes on.

“Yes,” you nodded, turning on your heel while Ed followed you toward the door, “I do that stuff, but I’m here to make all this easier for you, too.”

He envied the way Harry poked your sides to make you laugh and the way you would tease him about the jeans tight enough to squeeze the blood from his veins. The three of you were good friends, but he couldn’t help but be jealous of your friendship with Harry, given that it was just that; a friendship, whereas your relationship with Ed felt more business than anything else.

Jake parted ways with the three of you and given that Harry was eager to drink, he opted to call a cab rather than drive. 

Ed kept his face buried in his phone while you sat beside him in the back seat, Harry deciding to take the front. 

“Don’t beat yourself up about today,” you said, reaching over to give his knee a nudge. 

Your fingertips spread heat to the pit of his stomach, the gentle gesture lifting his mood enough to warrant a smile and lift his gaze to you.

“I should’ve just stayed and finished,” he started, “I’m sure my voice will be dead tomorrow.”

“Nothing a few shots can’t fix, mate,” Harry chimed in, leaning over the front seat.

“I am not doing shots with you tonight.”

The two had their share of late night stories and drunken mishaps but Ed swore off alcohol while he focused on recording. Harry raised his eyebrows at Ed’s comment, seeing straight through his denial and into the face of a guy who would need more than one drink to take the edge off. After the busy week Ed was having, you couldn’t blame him for bending the rules just that once, so long as he didn’t go overboard.

Sometimes Ed respects his own limits. Other times he gets carried away and focuses on having a good time rather than what photos might end up on the internet, and most of the time, the alcohol encourages behavior he’d attempt to hide any other day. 

On the nights you would see Ed outside of work, both of you would loosen up with a few drinks. When you least expected it, he’d brush against you, or compliment you through slurred speech with his arm slung around your shoulders, just before he’d plant a kiss against your forehead. You welcomed the friendly gesture on more than one occasion, but it was the way his eyes lit up when you entered a room that put it all together. 

Ed was always affectionate, it was a quality he was proud to have, but he didn’t smile with others like he did when he was around you. He didn’t stutter over his words even with the most minuscule of conversations with anyone other than you. 

To avoid any unwanted attention at the bar, the three of you wandered to the VIP room where you’d stay out of the way and be secluded. Harry wasted no time heading for the bar, shouting over his shoulder that he’d start a tab and order drinks for the three of you.

Ed chose a booth to plop down in across from where Harry headed, and you settled in beside him, both of you fishing your phones out of your pockets by force-of-habit.

Heat rose to his cheeks when you filled his senses, and though he had his phone in his hand and his eyes aimed toward the screen, all he could see from the corner of his vision was your leg close to his, his heart thumping behind ribs with the weight of you next to him.

“So I know my opinion doesn’t matter as much as Harry’s or Jake’s,” you started, the sound of your voice cutting the tension between you, “but for what it’s worth, I thought you sounded great. That rasp you were trying to get rid of actually works for you.”

He lowered his phone and dropped his hand against his thigh, looking over to you as you spoke.

“Of course your opinion matters as much,” he said, “you’re not just an employee to me. You’re more than that.”

A smile bled over your mouth and you looked toward Harry, watching him tap his foot to the beat of the music while he leaned on his right arm against the bar. With his eyes fixed on the football game playing on one of the flat screen TVs to his left, you brought your attention back to Ed as fast as you looked away.

“I know that we’ve had our moments,” he continued, “but I want you to know that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

You gave his thigh a friendly pat, showing him through touch that the feeling was mutual, and he smiled down at your hand, fighting the urge to take it in his and spill his guts.

“I know you do,” you smiled, “and I’ll always be your support system.”

With his eyes trailed back to his lap, your hand fell away and he inhaled just as he saw Harry waving the two of you over from the bar. You stood and reached your hand to Ed for him to take, and when his palm met yours to pull him up, he took in a gulp of air.

“If I don’t say it now I never will, and I might regret it for the rest of my life,” he said and a flush of uncertainty flooded your veins, seeing that same gleam in his eye he’d only get when he was being as honest as he could ever be, “I like you. I like you so much it scares me. And it scares me even more seeing the way you are with Harry and how much I want what you two have.”

Harry could see even from where he was standing that something his ears shouldn’t be hearing was happening between the two of you. He brought his attention back to the drinks on the bar, grabbing one to take a long drink while his eyes darted from you to Ed and back to the TV.

“Ed–,” you trailed, but he shook his head and itched the side of his nose, his cheeks glowing such a bright red you swore you could feel the heat radiating off of them.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same about me, but I can’t hide it anymore,” his heart was pounding, the neckline of shirt tightening while he tried to catch his breath and steady his pulse.

Ed had never asked whether or not you were single, and as hard as the sentence was to spit, you tucked your lips into a smile and took his hand in yours.

“Ed, I care about you so much, and I know that things between Harry and I seem…off, but I promise you there isn’t anything going on,” you let his hand fall away and he stood content and staring, waiting for you to deliver the message he dreaded hearing.

“I’m seeing someone else. And have been for a few months. And I’m happy.”

The ground beneath his feet became unsteady and he shifted his weight from his left leg to his right, stuffing in hands in to the back pocket of his jeans. 

“But even if I wasn’t,” you continued, folding your arms over your chest, “I wouldn’t want to risk ruining anything between us by doing something that might.”

Before a pause, he nodded and the little white scar on his bottom lip stretched when he cracked a smile. Deep down and behind his external emotion, he was hurt. He hid it well, and when you apologized for no apparent reason, he shook his head and gave a little shrug.

“I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m sorry,” he sighed and glanced back to Harry, and you could see the look of hurt in his bright blue eyes. “I’m an idiot.”

Trying to lighten the mood and bring his spirits up, you reached forward and ruffled his already disheveled hair, his head snapping back toward you when he felt your hand in his hair. His shoulders shuddered with the echo of a muted laugh from his chest, ducking his chin down.

“You’re not an idiot,” you told him, wanting to laugh when you brought your hand down and he reached up to rearrange the strands, “now let’s not make this awkward and go have a drink, okay?”

“Pretty sure it was awkward the second I opened my mouth, but let’s go drink anyway.”

The two of you turned to head toward the bar where Harry was still waiting, and while you and Ed approached you gave his arm a gentle shove and made him stumble. 

“Everything cool?” Harry asked when you reached for your drink between him and Ed.

Ed grabbed his and the two of you exchanged glares, his eyes giving you a silent plea to keep the conversation to yourself.

“Not as cool as you, Styles,” you said with your glass to your lips, and Ed laughed, his eyes fixed on you while he held his glass.

After a round of drinks the three of you ordered some food. Though the air between you and Ed felt a bit heavier, you didn’t want anything to be different between the two of you. He lowered his eyes and smiled each time you cracked a joke or teased Harry, and as hard as he may have tried to hide it, the flush in cheeks wouldn’t fade. 

Two hours in and three shots each later, Harry dragged Ed to the far corner of the room where the two of you had been dancing, while he’d been just sipping his drink and observing from the booth.

He gripped Ed’s hand, each of them drunker than they’d care to admit, and Ed stumbled while Harry whined for him to give in and go dance. 

“Come on, Ed, it’s just us,” you shouted over the music the bartender played at your request.

His drink splashed over the rim of his glass when Harry tugged him harder by his hand.

“I’m not gonna stand over there and watch you sit like a wounded dog,” he told Ed, managing to pull him a few steps further, “it’s so damn sad.”

Ed was laughing by the time Harry dragged him over to you and he gave his shoulders a push, your hands reaching out through a laugh to catch him. 

“Show me what you got, Sheeran,” Harry sneered, bouncing left to right on his feet in an attempt to get Ed amped up.

“If I’m dancing,” he said, raising his voice over the music, “then I’m gonna need another drink.”

With that he guzzled the rest of his and snatched yours out of your hand. You shrieked through a laugh, pulling at his wrist while he drank, the alcohol spilling down his arm. 

Harry grabbed Ed’s hips from behind and you jumped back when he choked out a startled laugh, a spray of your drink shooting from his mouth. 

“Dance, boy,” he said on the verge of laughter, wiggling Ed’s hips in his hands to get him to dance. 

Ed slapped his hands away, but Harry just jumped in front of him and gave a little wiggle, shaking his arms as if he’d had breasts to tease Ed with.

You joined the two of them, jumping in next to Harry and his face lit up when you shared his enthusiasm, each of you poking at Ed’s sides to egg him on, until he rubbed under his nose and gave in, inching his way toward you and Harry. Laughter erupted from all three of you when he started dancing, and though it was more of him just swaying and thrusting his hips, all that mattered was that he was happy. All that mattered was that nothing would change between the two of you.


End file.
